Pulling The Plug | Building My Own Next



I'm always in pain. From 2015 onwards, I can barely remember a period when I was pain-free. Yes, it has levels, so on a good day, it's three or four, and on a bad one, it's at eleven. Most medications aren't as effective as they once were, and I'm "trying" to stay away from the heavy stuff because of the dark addiction side of it. Yet it's still so tempting. I know that it's a very temporary fix for a long-term problem, but sometimes I need a brake. Nevertheless, I didn't forget how it felt being so addicted to painkillers and justifying reasons to take more or up the dose.

They tell me I'm brave and strong for enduring all of this, but I'm not, and if somehow I am, I don't want to be anymore. What's the return policy here?

My appetite goes more than it comes. I've lost over twelve kilograms in the past few years, and they don't want to return.

So, what are my options? What's next? While the doctors are yet to figure it out, I've decided to make my option and build my own next. It's not a cure, it won't take the pain away, and there are no guarantees that it will even work, but it will be my choice.

No more doctors, no more hospitals; I'm done for now.

I'm pulling the plug off this sad story and will start writing my own. Not filled with candy and rainbows, but it is just honest. I'm done with fantasies, lies, and dreams. I aim to live a life better than the one I had yesterday.


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